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The Top Ten Characters I Don't Want to See in Smash Brothers 4 [top ten]
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06/08/13, 22:18 Edited: 06/08/13, 22:15
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As the poster powerup for the Super Mario Galaxy games, the Bee Mario suit may be the most popular one to come from the Wii series. Bee Mario uses his limited flight ability to buzz around, and his lightweight bug form allows him to safely step on flowers and some other surfaces. This comes at the cost of weakening his spin move, however. Though Bee Mario was a fun suit in the Galaxy games, he would not make a fun character in the Smash games. To begin with, given the bee's weaker strength, it's clear he couldn't pull off most of the moves of regular Mario, such as the Mario Tornado, and of course wouldn't have the trademark fireball attack. I guess they could give him some sort of stinger move, but, that sounds like the kind of thing nightmares are made of. Fun suits don't make fun characters, and Bee Mario shouldn't bee in Smash 4.
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One would think the I-Block would be the most popular Tetris piece, as not only can it help get players out of a rising stack, it is the only one which is capable of scoring the game's namesake. But as an infamous GameFAQs poll proved, the L-Block is, in fact, the most popular Tetris piece. The L-Block spends most of its time imitating a letter of the alphabet, but it might have some hidden moves it could use to fight. One of its specials would probably be a spin move that could knock opponents silly, and another one of its specials would probably be this same move, but done counter-clockwise. It could also, of course, fall on and crush foes. Other than that though, there isn't much this sorry excuse for a character can do. Not only that, but if L-Block were in the game, then its rival, the Reverse L-Block, would need to be there also. That's why L-Block is an abysmal character.
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Though not really a character, a Mii is a little user-created caricature intended to represent the player inside the game. Miis were introduced and popularised by Wii Sports, and have appeared in numerous games since. Mii might seem like a no-brainer for the Smash series, but even if I didn't loathe them, it's still a poor choice for a character. The problem is, as a Mii is supposed to represent the player, there's no real way to create a moveset for it. Since each person is different, a static moveset would go against the entire point of a Mii, and instead of being an avatar for the player, the Mii would become nothing but a generic character with generic moves, completely missing the point. A Mii also doesn't have its own world, so it wouldn't fit in with the whole “Nintendo worlds collide” deal.
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You might be thinking “Hey! You said no more Mario!” Maybe I lied. Or maybe Jumpman doesn't count since he came before Mario, and therefore his name is Jumpman and he isn't a form of Mario. Or maybe that makes no sense and I'm crazy, but we'll not open that door right now. Jumpman appeared in the original Donkey Kong arcade game as the hero who climbed a construction site to rescue his girlfriend from an unruly ape. Unlike Mario, Jumpman has a more realistic jump height, and he also can't stomp on objects or enemies to defeat them. In fact, he's such a weakling that if he jumps on a barrel, or even falls from a relatively low height, it kills him. This is why he'd be a terrible character for Smash 4. Not only that, but his moveset would be limited. Outside of grabbing a hammer and swinging it like a madman (which is also an item in the game), he can't really do anything. Despite his history and importance to Nintendo, Jumpman would be an awful choice.
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06/08/13, 22:18 Edited: 06/08/13, 22:15 |
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@Zero No, you're not supposed to want any! Which half are you thinking, anyway? @nate38 I've got a feeling we'll be seeing the Black/White starters, they've been pushing them as of late. @PogueSquadron Mario Kart isn't different than something like Wii Sports, the Miis are still doing a specific thing. Driving a go-kart, swinging a golf club, throwing a bowling ball etc. are all things people can actually do in real life, too. The problem with Smash Brothers is that the Mii would need a moveset; how can they possible create anything good for a player avatar? No matter what it'd be, there'd be millions of people who'd be like, "That isn't anything like my fighting style!" Of all the entries on this list, the Mii is the only one who has any real possibility. But it's still a terrible idea. |
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