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Top 10 Worst Legend of Zelda items [top ten]
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Figured I'd try this out!
There's really no other game series like Zelda that has such a rich history of diverse, memorable items. Most games bring with them at least one memorable tool that helps Link navigate through dungeons, help out townspeople, and thwart evildoers.
Every now and then though, Link gets a real dud. An item that isn't fun to use, seems utterly pointless, or is just flat out dumb. So, here we go! My top 10 worst Zelda items!
Keep in mind, I have not played through Oracle of Seasons, which I'm ashamed of (since I liked Ages a lot), and I haven't played through Spirit Tracks (which I was never interested in at all).
Also not including the sword. Just sticking to everything else in
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01/18/11, 07:32 Edited: 10/30/13, 00:16
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Ok. This is one of my least favorite mechanics that Zelda has adopted into its gameplay. In A Link to the Past, you could hold up to 999 rupees. From the get go. And you NEEDED them. You needed them to buy the flippers, and eventually other things like unlock a dungeon, buy a large bomb, etc. In Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, Link is only capable of holding a certain amount of rupees because he's a kid. Of course. He's a kid! He's only capable of holding a child sized wallet. ............................ Let's just disregard the fact that Link basically has A MAGICAL BAG IN WHICH HE KEEPS A COMPLETE ARSENAL OF ARROWS, SWORDS, SHIELDS, BOMBS, AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS DESIGNED TO KILL THINGS. He can carry a shield bigger than he is. He can carry along not just one, but two extra pairs of clothes. 4 bottles full of God knows what. 7 different medallions (easily worth a shit ton of rupees on Hyrule's black market). A pair of IRON BOOTS for God's sakes. And you're going to tell me that I can't hold more than 200 rupees at a time? Outrage!
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This is honestly what influenced me to make this top ten. The shovel and its incarnations have not ever once been fun to use, or really all that useful. Because you know what? When I'm out adventuring, and I'm running around with my Pegasus boots, swimming around with my flippers, and bombing mysterious cracks in walls, you know what I want to do? Dig some holes in the ground. And in Minish Cap, which I think may have been just the source of great thinking in the world, they try to disguise the shovel in the form of Mole Mitts. Well, maybe if they make it look and sound cooler, then digging will be more fun? Nope! I just really, hate the shovel. Even when you're not using it, it's awful. Was waiting for Dampe to dig in Kakariko's graveyard enjoyable for anyone? It's a shovel! Link shouldn't be using it to dig. He should be using it to bludgeon snitches in the mob and hide them in the trunk of his car. I mean....it's a shovel! I really don't even know what else to say. You use it in Link's Awakening to find a lot of Secret Seashells from what I remember....but I THINK the game at least had the sense (like LttP) to keep it as a temporary item. Unfortunately in Link's Awakening, by the time you get rid of the shovel, you're almost done the game. It's a shovel!!! Gah! Does that look like fun to ANYONE?
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This was just for fun. My complaints may sound picky, but hey, that's what Top 10 lists are all about! I guess if there's anything you may have learned about me, it's that there are certain things I don't enjoy in any Zelda game. Digging, taking photos, running out of money, stunning enemies with shitty weapons, flipping things upside down arbitrarily, planting beans....which is really just another form of digging, by the way... Anywho, yeah. Maybe one day I'll do a more positive post about my favorite Zelda items? Was just browsing some pictures and I definitely know what my favorite is...if you could count her as an item that is, haha. URL to share (right click and copy)
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01/18/11, 07:32 Edited: 10/30/13, 00:16 |
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Yeah I mean the problem is, they're always going to be useful, because Nintendo designs situations to make them useful. The Mole Mitts, for example, help you get through a dungeon in Minish Cap...but man I still thought they were dumb.
The Spinner and Ball and Chain were hardly used in Twilight Princes...but man, at the very least, they were fun as hell to use. The Spinner, despite its arbitrary design, at least resulted in an awesome boss battle. And the Ball and Chain? Hell, it was a Ball and Chain. I knocked down suits of armor, yo. |
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10- Wallet and Bomb bag sizes... I'm slightly torn. Getting them is usually kind of fun with the various mini games and all, but better equipment could replace them in the scope of things.
9- Shovel... Used it twice.
8- Link's Adventure Flute... Take that, River Devil! Sure showed you.
7- Wind Waker... I HATED it. It was like the Ocarina, but shitty because you had to whip it out constantly and switch items while sailing and retrieving treasure. This just came to mind and I need to throw out there: how absolutely awful sounding was the howling in TP?! Oh, I may as well add the Sail because that should have been hard-mapped to another button whilst in the boat.
6- Pictograph Box... Lame.
5- Great Fairy Sword... Just because it's an item and not an actual sword you equip. I fail to grasp why that was done.
4- Ball and Chain... I just found it too absurd, even after the Megaton Hammer in OoT, and there was barely enough (good) use for it.
3- Sling Shot / Seed Shooter... Just give us the bow.
2- Deku Nuts... Only good for replacing with a jar by doing the extra jar glitch. I don't actually recall using them in Majora's Mask... Did you bomb with them as the Deku Scrub?
1- Ooocoo and Oocoo Jr... I don't care if they're from M.C. Escher artwork: they're hideous and I never used them. In fact, I think I only ever used Farore's Wind once in OoT when I wanted to see what it did.
the Dominion Rod gets dishonorable mention. I really enjoyed the puzzles with it in the Temple of Time, but it could have been used more, or on enemies too! How cool would it have been to assume control of enemies?! You'd have to be in a safe spot, lest you get hit and lose control, but you could go around hacking other baddies, and it wouldn't break floor-switch puzzles because switching back to Link relinquishes control and the enemy is free to roam again. It could be an upgradeable item too, like you're only able to control weaker enemies at first. |
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