Just look at this guy. It took us like a month to find a couch we liked, and did you know that when you are an adult and buy a couch from a real store it isn't $50 like the thrift store couches that you have been living off of before? These things cost serious money! A couch is an investment. And here comes Slash Man, a guy with spikes coming out of him all over the place. My couch would last a week at best with him around.

I know I picked Solar Man as a robot master that I would want to live with, so why am I so against living with Torch Man? Well, Solar Man may have the power of the burning sun but at least he can turn it off when he isn't using it. Torch Man has not just one but count them... two continually burning fires coming out of his shoulders! And both of them are like half his height again in size. These are some big flames! If there was ever a clear fire hazard Torch Man is that.

Imagine you're just taking a nice relaxing nap and then you wake up and get confused because you're looking up and your bed is on the ceiling? No wait, that can't be right. Are you on the ceiling and your bed is on the floor?

Look, it doesn't really matter, with Gravity Man as a roommate either of those scenarios not only could happen but would happen as a regular occurrence. And god help you if you end up outside before you realize what happened and just float away into space.

Everybody knows that guy who builds his entire personality around swords and let's be honest, everybody hates that guy. He is incredibly annoying. He will keep asking if you want to see his swords and you will keep saying no but he just… won't… stop. Look, I don't care if your new sword is an exact replication of a steel sword Catholic knights used in the 12th century during the Crusades or whatever. I really don't.

This guy's whole thing is bouncing around smashing things and my whole thing is making sure no one ruins my stuff so at the end of the day we're just not very compatible.

Have you ever stepped on a needle? I have. It hurts. A lot. If you decide to let Needle Man move in congratulations, you will know that pain every single day of your life. Only a masochist would want this and I may have a lot of incredibly strange kinks that I've never told anyone about but masochism is certainly not one of them.

Personally I prefer not being in pain.

I'm a tech person so I have way too many gadgets and I'm already using all of the outlets in this tiny place I call my home. Those are my outlets. Mine! I don't want a roommate who needs to plug into the wall for hours every day just to exist. And who knows what else he would want to plug into? Not me and I don't want to find out.

Imagine you're just taking a nice relaxing nap and then you wake up and your bed is covered in snakes?

With Snake Man as a roommate this not only could happen but would happen as a regular occurrence. And personally I don't mind snakes that much, I kind of love them actually, but only when they're under control. With Snake Man as a roommate there would be snakes in the fridge, snakes in your shoes, snakes in the Crock-Pot, snakes in the toilet, just snakes, snakes, snakes all over the place.

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf-in' snakes in my motherf-in' condo!

                  
I'm sure many of us have had that roommate who gets a romantic partner and it starts with their partner sleeping over once or twice a week but next thing you know they are over every night and you're waking up to them using your skillet to make themselves breakfast and they most certainly do not wash the skillet afterwards. Also they leave piles of clothes all over the floor and now I guess their dog lives with you? And maybe it would be sort of fine if they were actually you know, financially contributing, but they don't technically live there because they have their own place they go home to once a month so they don't financially contribute jack and what can you do? You now have ⅓ of the space and are using ⅓ of the resources but are paying for ½ of everything. It's not fair, is it?

Well, that's what living with Gemini Man is like from day one.

It might just be me and I hope I'm not overstepping here but I feel like maybe… just maybe… a tiny urban condo with roommates isn't the ideal living situation for a guy who stores several literal napalm bombs in his body.