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Bayonetta Has Short Hair Now
News reported by 
Editor
June 11, 2013, 20:15:20
 
Bayonetta got a haircut.

More news as this story develops.


**UPDATE**

Bayonetta's hair still short.


**UPDATE UPDATE**

From my exclusive interview with Samra, my barber:

Samra: Hair takes a long time to grow.
Kris: So, chances are, if Bayonetta cut her hair, there's not much of a chance it will grow back.
Samra: No, it'll grow back. It'll just take a few weeks.
Kris: So her hair may be long again by the time the game launches.
Samra: Well, if she was a real person, yes. But I'm not sure it works that way with video games.
Kris: I'm not sure what you mean.

Hair expected to grow back, possibly in time for release date.


**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Nintendo confirms Bayonetta not real person. Team of technology specialists conclude hair expected to be short at time of release.


**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Photographic evidence from the news desk:



**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Our pundits weigh in on Bayonetta getting a haircut.

Cosmo Frill (editor, Negative World Style): She's obviously feeling more confident. A woman who gets this sort of haircut is saying, "I'm here. I'm making my own choices. You can't deny me." Bayonetta's a survivor and she wants the world to know it.

Jefferson Gashbag (editor, Negative World Politics): Frankly, I don't know who she thinks she is fooling. She's showing a dangerous lack of core American values. All women should have long hair. That's what my grandpappy told me and I live my entire life based on what my grandpappy told me.

Chris Right (editor, Negative World Casual Encounters): I think she looks totally hot this way. (Howls like a wolf. Falls out of his chair. Knocks himself out cold.)


**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Bayonetta's name taken from the word "bayonet" which, according to Negative World's Military Analyst, my Dad, is a sort of gun that shoots knives. The "etta" part is probably a reference to jazz singer Etta James.


**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Etta James had short hair, too. Coincidence? We report, you decide.


**UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE**

Bayonetta's hair still short.

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Posted: 06/11/13, 20:15:20  - Edited by 
 on: 06/12/13, 01:31:29    
 
Why not sign up for a (free) account and create your own content?
 
Also, idiots still have yet to figure out that Bayonetta 2 is not being ported to the anything else.


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:20:47
I already wrote about this in the Bayonetta 2 thread! I think? We're trying to contain news by game!


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:43:35
You're burying the lede, Zero! Short hair!


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:54:03
I guess it's good to have joke topics amidst all the rest!


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:57:36
MEGATON.


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:05:51
lol


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:07:50
No hair, no buy.


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:32:48
She can't have short hair - her clothing is made out of her hair. If her hair is cut short... um...


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:33:19
I came in expecting some witty writing and tongue-in-cheek humor.

I leave satisfied.


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:38:23
nacthenud said:
She can't have short hair - her clothing is made out of her hair. If her hair is cut short... um...

Oh. Well in that case no hair YES buy. I didn't know this important detail.


Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:40:28
I just got it on a hot tip that the hair has moved elsewhere. *taps nose*

You heard it here first.


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 00:26:09
So... Funny or not?


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 03:33:58
It was until you asked.


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 03:51:31
@kriswright
@Het_Nkik

I still think its funny, haha!


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 04:11:21
@Het_Nkik

Another satisfied customer!


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 04:38:12
Hair today...


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 06:19:28
so....... wouldn't this make her LESS powerful?


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 06:24:40
@kriswright

lol! well done, sir. well done!

@chrisbg99

I don't go to Kotaku, but when I do, it's to see (literally) dozens of people posting about whyyyyy isn't B2 on PS3/60/4/1. Lack knowledge, they do.


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 08:24:12
@NinSage
Go to Kotaku Australia, much better community although they can get a little annoying sometimes.


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 08:31:22
@NinSage

No I make my mistake of reading comments on YouTube.


Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 09:10:09
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