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Bayonetta Has Short Hair Now
News reported by 
June 11, 2013, 20:15:20
Bayonetta got a haircut.

More news as this story develops.


Bayonetta's hair still short.


From my exclusive interview with Samra, my barber:

Samra: Hair takes a long time to grow.
Kris: So, chances are, if Bayonetta cut her hair, there's not much of a chance it will grow back.
Samra: No, it'll grow back. It'll just take a few weeks.
Kris: So her hair may be long again by the time the game launches.
Samra: Well, if she was a real person, yes. But I'm not sure it works that way with video games.
Kris: I'm not sure what you mean.

Hair expected to grow back, possibly in time for release date.


Nintendo confirms Bayonetta not real person. Team of technology specialists conclude hair expected to be short at time of release.


Photographic evidence from the news desk:


Our pundits weigh in on Bayonetta getting a haircut.

Cosmo Frill (editor, Negative World Style): She's obviously feeling more confident. A woman who gets this sort of haircut is saying, "I'm here. I'm making my own choices. You can't deny me." Bayonetta's a survivor and she wants the world to know it.

Jefferson Gashbag (editor, Negative World Politics): Frankly, I don't know who she thinks she is fooling. She's showing a dangerous lack of core American values. All women should have long hair. That's what my grandpappy told me and I live my entire life based on what my grandpappy told me.

Chris Right (editor, Negative World Casual Encounters): I think she looks totally hot this way. (Howls like a wolf. Falls out of his chair. Knocks himself out cold.)


Bayonetta's name taken from the word "bayonet" which, according to Negative World's Military Analyst, my Dad, is a sort of gun that shoots knives. The "etta" part is probably a reference to jazz singer Etta James.


Etta James had short hair, too. Coincidence? We report, you decide.


Bayonetta's hair still short.

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Posted: 06/11/13, 20:15:20  - Edited by 
 on: 06/12/13, 01:31:29    
Why not sign up for a (free) account and create your own content?
Also, idiots still have yet to figure out that Bayonetta 2 is not being ported to the anything else.

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:20:47
I already wrote about this in the Bayonetta 2 thread! I think? We're trying to contain news by game!

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:43:35
You're burying the lede, Zero! Short hair!

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:54:03
I guess it's good to have joke topics amidst all the rest!

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 20:57:36

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:05:51

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:07:50
No hair, no buy.

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:32:48
She can't have short hair - her clothing is made out of her hair. If her hair is cut short... um...

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:33:19
I came in expecting some witty writing and tongue-in-cheek humor.

I leave satisfied.

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:38:23
nacthenud said:
She can't have short hair - her clothing is made out of her hair. If her hair is cut short... um...

Oh. Well in that case no hair YES buy. I didn't know this important detail.

Posted by 
 on: 06/11/13, 23:40:28
I just got it on a hot tip that the hair has moved elsewhere. *taps nose*

You heard it here first.

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 00:26:09
So... Funny or not?

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 03:33:58
It was until you asked.

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 03:51:31

I still think its funny, haha!

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 04:11:21

Another satisfied customer!

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 04:38:12
Hair today...

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 06:19:28
so....... wouldn't this make her LESS powerful?

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 06:24:40

lol! well done, sir. well done!


I don't go to Kotaku, but when I do, it's to see (literally) dozens of people posting about whyyyyy isn't B2 on PS3/60/4/1. Lack knowledge, they do.

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 08:24:12
Go to Kotaku Australia, much better community although they can get a little annoying sometimes.

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 08:31:22

No I make my mistake of reading comments on YouTube.

Posted by 
 on: 06/12/13, 09:10:09
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