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Top 10 Things About Modern Gaming I Don't Understand [top ten]
 
Hey kids. Grandpa Zero here to complain to the wind about all of this newfangled nonsense in gaming.


Some of this new stuff probably makes sense to you youngins but I don't really understand it so it must be bad and wrong.
Posted: 10/26/15, 18:42:58  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 22:18:17
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YouTube Celebrities
So I guess the hip new thing is to scream into a camera about video games and get like 8 trillion viewers who then stalk you like youíre one of The Beatles? I was at a con recently where a bunch of hard-working indie developers were showing off the games they made to small trickle of people who half-heartedly checked them out while a neverending line of exuberant fans waited for hours on end to go meet someone who is famous for playing video games that other people make.

Thatís cool I guess.
 
Let's Plays
Speaking of, now itís fun to watch other people play through entire video games? IsÖ is it because you kids donít have any fun new games to actually play like the two undisputable best games ever made Super Metroid and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past? What is next, watching people watch people play video games? That probably already exists doesnít it? Of course it does.


No you don't get to play you get to do something even more fun... watch me play!
 
Free-To-Play Gaming
Dang, you can get straight up free games now?! AWESOME. Wait, why are there ads everywhere? Well, thatís fine, I can just ignore those. Wait, why do I have to watch a video in between every play? Whatever, I can ignore that too. Wait, this part seems suspiciously long and boring and now theyíre telling me I can pay to get items to skip it? Uh, you purposely designed bad parts of your game to get consumers to pay to skip them. This is cool how?
 
Retailer-Exclusive DLC
Back in my days if you wanted a game you bought it and then you had it. Or more likely you scrounged together money from your paper route to go rent it for a weekend and then stayed up until 5 am hyped up on sugar to beat it. Point is you could play the whole game because you had the whole game. Actually probably you couldnít because most of the games made back then were impossible to finish in a single weekend. Whatever.

Now you have to buy like 87 different copies of each game from 87 different retailers to get all of the content.


Pre-order now at Gamestop and receive half the game... for free!
 
Games With Offline Modes You Need To Be Online To Play
This one is so obviously stupid that even you kids probably know why it is stupid so Iím not going to explain why it is stupid.
 
Procedurally-Generated Everything
Way back in my days we used to have these people called game designers who designed stages for games and things like that. I think? Is that what Nintendo Power told us? Anyway, now the games design themselves or something? I mean, I guess that is cool. Do any designers still make their own stages? Is that allowed?
 
Professional Gaming Leagues
So people get paid to play games professionally and fill stadiums and such because people just love watching games that much? Yeah yeah I know, like half of my entries are just me being surprised how much people like sitting around watching other people play games. I remember sitting around watching my cousin play Super Mario Bros. like 30 years ago because back then 2 player games often meant taking turns. It was boring. There is nothing cool about watching other people play video games.

Wait Grandpa Zero (youíre all whining in your little kid voices), how is this really any different than watching professional sports?

Good point. That's dumb too.


This was supposed to be a joke. Or a "funny" as we called them in my days.
 
One-Note Games
Here is an idea for a game. You take turtle and walk down the road avoiding I dunno, potholes or something, and thenÖ there is no then, that is the entire game. Give me ten trillion dollars please iPhone gamers.
 
Spending Hundreds Of Dollars On Gaming Toys To Collect Them All Including The Dumb Ones
Alright I know I am going to get a lot of heat for posting this on a Nintendo site but like, do we really need to collect every single one of the hundreds of toys being released just because? And pay super huge prices to get the rare ones? And camp out at stores for hours and junk to get a single toy as if these are tickets to The Beatles?

I donít know why I keep mentioning The Beatles I donít even like The Beatles.

And some of these characters are dumb. Does anyone even like Bowser Jr.? WHY ARE YOU BUYING HIS TOYS? BOWSER JR. IS REALLY DUMB GUYS. STOP. YOUíRE ALLOWED TO BUY ONLY THE COOL ONES IF YOU WANT. YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?


Think about the fact that you spent actual money on this and despair.
 
Video Game Writers Who Complain All The Time
Yep.
 
Shut up. Get off my lawn!

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Posted: 10/26/15, 18:42:58  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 22:18:17
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Ha! That's a fantastic list.

Though I counted at least 5 things on your list that I'm completely fine with and actually enjoy (i.e. Love Let's Plays, so far 2 games on my GOTY Top 10 list are F2P, etc.).

For my addition, I'd say the biggest thing I don't understand is the Hostile Tribalism found in the gaming community at large. Like people paint themselves into this tiny cubbyhole of what they like, and it's not enough to simply enjoy yourself, everyone else has to go F themselves. Whether they don't share your tastes for the "good games" or simply happen to enjoy the "bad games", they're Enemy #1.

Which is strange when you consider that most of us come from a common counter-culture roots of being nerd outcasts.

Maybe the industry just got too large and diverse or something.

I'll always allow for varying tastes, but I'll never understand those of us who get hostile specifically because of that diversity.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:06:36
I have mixed feelings about the YouTube thing, before I got into SoulsBorne I understood it a lot less, but now I follow of bunch of people who plays Dark Souls and Bloodborne all day and I find it endlessly fascinating. Partially because there is so much depth in those games that it's impossible for any single player to see anything, so practically every time I watch a video I learn something, and as my knowledge expands I become a better player. I even posted a couple of videos myself to help out a friend who was having trouble in Bloodborne, it was fun!

Also I can think of a lot of games that aren't procedurally generated, in fact the only game I can think of off the top of my head that is procedurally generated is Diablo. I'm sure lots of games are I just don't play them I guess.

@New Forms
Tribalism is as old as time itself! I've been building a PC lately so I've been watching a lot of youtube stuff on video cards and cooling etc. and sometimes I find it nauseating when they inevitably go into an anti-console rant, why can't the PC crowd just enjoy their high end machines that cost thousands of dollars without shitting on the people who enjoy Mario, Halo, or Uncharted? I don't get it.

Anyway even in the NES days there was a Sega vs. Nintendo thing so I guess it will never end, best to ignore it!
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:18:39  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 19:24:27
I used to love watching my brothers play computer games when I was younger. And my nieces like to watch me play video games. I think it's just something kids like. Plus, a lot of kids can't afford to play a lot of games, but they want to be knowledgeable and able to follow along on message boards and podcasts, so watching Lets Plays is a cheap and easy way to do that. Kids have tons of free time, don't forget.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:20:05  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 19:20:23
I LOVE Let's Plays and find them FAR more entertaining than watching television.

Has to be a personality that I enjoy, however. That's half the fun.

A lot of the time I learn new strategies for really complex games, like Arumba's Crusader Kings & Europa Universalis videos or Scott Manley's Kerbal Space Program stuff. Other times I'm in it for the laughs, like pretty much anything from Giant Bomb (both West and East-crew).

Why not just play the game? Sometimes I don't have the energy and want a more passive entertainment experience. People do this all the time when they flip on the TV instead of picking up a book. Perhaps I don't want to spend $60 on a title I'm only mildly interested in, followed by dumping dozens of hours into completing it. Let's Plays let me get a taste of something, whether I'm thinking of buying or not. Other times I want to hear commentary from personalities I enjoy and respect. People who might be into niche game genres that are rarely even talked about online or covered by the press.

For example, there's a whole world of YouTubers who only play Mundane Vehicle Simulators like Euro Truck Simulator, Farming Simulator, OMSI, Train Simulator, etc. They're not doing it for laughs. They cover the genre because they have a true passion for it. Just like I do. But no one is talking about these games on NeoGaf or IGN. GameSpot isn't covering them. So I instead get to enjoy listening to people YouTube who are in deep just like me.

There's a wide variety of personality types doing Let's Plays on YouTube. Unfortunately, those with little exposure usually only hear about the most popular ones like PewDiePie. The ones who scream into their mics. If that were the only tone available online, I can't say I'd be much interested in Let's Plays either. But luckily there's also a LOT of intelligent people out there doing smart, entertaining work. And they don't even scream into their microphones!

I understand that Let's Plays aren't for everyone, but man are they golden when you discover personalizes you gel with. And like I said, they're far more entertaining than almost anything they show on TV these days.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:23:46
Most of this was tongue-in-cheek, though with some truth behind it. I can't get too down on Let's Plays considering that I watch a lot of GameCenter CX which is essentially just this dude playing through games. Although it has a lot more going on, he visits game shops and interviews game devs and such. But I can at least imagine that there could be a Let's Play as interesting as GameCenter CX, though I haven't found any (admittedly I don't look very hard.) I think there is something about the Japanese style that appeals to me more.

With that said I barely watch any TV except while I'm eating meals. Otherwise I prefer doing over watching.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:24:22  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 19:25:59
Heheh, good list. Bowser Jr. is dumb. While I have some amiibos, I don't have a collector's mindset with them, but I can see why people do. For shows I like, I usually feel like I *have* to get all the DVDs if I own a couple seasons, just to...I dunno, say I have them all! Not sure why this is a compulsion; I'm pretty sure no one will be impressed by me owning all seasons of King of the Hill. Thankfully, I knew when to stop with amiibos so I can sit back with my favorite ten or so and not worry about the other 60+.

You must really like The Beatles.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:28:45
Agree with all.

I agree especially with this fascination people have with random people on YouTube playing videogames/YouTube "celebrities", and that retailer exclusive DLC shit, though I'd specifically call out the insulting as fuck Season Pass culture we have right now.

I find it incredibly insulting they have a special little term/pet name for something that's a giant fucking cash grab. Every time I hear Season Pass what I really hear is FUCK YOU. It is honestly the single most insulting thing I can think of in all of gaming right now.

Oh, and microtransactions.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:32:30
@deathly_hallows

Yeah, I understand that Tribalism in gaming goes way back. On my school playground it was 2600 vs Intellivision. So it's not lost on me or anything.

I guess it's just the older I get, the less engaged I feel with that kind of behavior. Heck, I'm a pretty avid sports fan and I don't even care that much who wins or loses anymore. Well, let me rephrase that. I do care, I just don't have a fiery passion about it that sends me to the moon when my team loses or a rival wins. It all just feel far more detached.

So it's like that with games. I have entire genres and platforms that I know are just not for me. But honestly, I'm at a loss as to think why I was ever such an a-hole to those who didn't share my common tastes.

The hostility surrounding these subjects just feels tired at this point.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:37:40
Bowser Jr. RULES!!!!

Also DLC really turns me off, it makes me shy away from Ubi and Warner Bros. games as they seem to be the worst. I also don't want to sign in to some Ubi account, F that!
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:38:38
New Forms said:
@deathly_hallows
On my school playground it was 2600 vs Intellivision.
Wow! Holy crap I don't even remember that... I just remember getting a ColecoVision and it has Donkey Kong and Space Panic and therefor was the most awesome console ever haha.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:43:21
deathly_hallows said:
why can't the PC crowd just enjoy their high end machines that cost thousands of dollars without shitting on the people who enjoy Mario, Halo, or Uncharted?

Yea, that damned PC crowd with their tribalism.
Posted: 10/26/15, 19:53:38
Isn't Halo on PC anyway?
Posted: 10/26/15, 20:02:23
Halo invented PC!
Posted: 10/26/15, 20:04:56
@Jargon
Yep, out of all the tribes (Apple, Android, PlayStation, what have you) I find the PC Master Race to be the most grating. Probably because it's the most exclusionary and elitist, or at least right up there with Apple.

(btw the vast majority of people who play games on PC aren't that way at all, its just the vocal minority of really high-end enthusiasts who are the real jerks)

@New Forms
Halo was Mac game.

Zero said:
Isn't Halo on PC anyway?
Nope. They released Halo and Halo 2 on PC a few years after the Xbox release, but they've never released 3, ODST, Reach, or 4 and they don't plan on releasing 5. Weird isn't it since MS owns Windows and Xbox?
Posted: 10/26/15, 20:27:53  - Edited by 
 on: 10/26/15, 20:29:54
I wanted to add to the list, but turns out I understand everything.
Posted: 10/26/15, 20:41:13
I don't think anyone wants to spend money on Bowser Jr, but just look at him:



He's clearly about to pound you if you don't hand over all your lunch money ASAP.
Posted: 10/26/15, 21:01:14
Great list!! I mean, I like some of those things, but, still it's a fantastic list.

Modern gaming has been pushing me further and further away for a little while now. While thinking about this in last night's NinTemple chat, I coined a phrase for myself: "Days until I become a retro gamer: one less than yesterday."
Posted: 10/26/15, 21:15:39
deathly_hallows said:

(btw the vast majority of people who play games on PC aren't that way at all, its just the vocal minority of really high-end enthusiasts who are the real jerks)

So maybe don't make broad statements about the "PC crowd" when criticizing tribalism?
Posted: 10/26/15, 21:27:22
@deathly_hallows That is bizarre. I gues Microsoft sees XBox as their main bread and butter when it comes to gaming.
Posted: 10/26/15, 21:32:16
New Forms said:
@deathly_hallows

Heck, I'm a pretty avid sports fan and I don't even care that much who wins or loses anymore. Well, let me rephrase that. I do care, I just don't have a fiery passion about it that sends me to the moon when my team loses or a rival wins. It all just feel far more detached.

Man, I totally hear you on that one. I used to have good days or bad days based on sports teams. Now (thankfully) I'm excited when they win and if they lose, oh well. (Though playoff losses still hurt and cause the rest of the day to seem darker...)

New Forms said:
@deathly_hallowsBut honestly, I'm at a loss as to think why I was ever such an a-hole to those who didn't share my common tastes.

The hostility surrounding these subjects just feels tired at this point.

It feels tired because you're older now and realize life is too short for that kind of crap, ha ha. Copy-paste the Grandpa Simpson image from above. :)

I certainly am with you on the "why was I such an a-hole to people" thing. Honestly I blame insanity. Human beings, myself included, are freaking crazy. We make so little sense so much of the time, then we try to pass it off as normal because we all do it. What a bunch of loonies we are!

As for the general list, I agree with most, if not all. Of course, as I said above, we're all nuts, so we could probably make lists of things we had in "classic gaming" that we were ga-ga over and now seems so completely stupid. Level grinding RPGs, for example, and wearing a badge of pride over getting a Magikarp to level 100.

Posted: 10/26/15, 21:33:57
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