...

......

*engine sound*

Fox: Alright team, we're here.

Falco: Fill us in, Fox. What's the scoop?

Fox: The General wants us to post a review of Star Fox 64 in this place.

Peppy: Everything here looks so twisted... like it's the opposite of what it should be. Better be careful.

Slippy: I've got a bad feeling about this!

Falco: Public Poll, eh? Ocarina of Time 3D... a 3DS killer app?! Yeah right, I'm thinkin' that's a job for another game.

Fox: ROB, what's the situation?

ROB: Game Database analysis complete. Zero reviews found for Star Fox 64.

Fox: Someone's gotta do something about that. Let's go!



Emphasis on presentation. Cinematic feeling. Voice acting. Those words do anything but describe your typical Nintendo game, however they are appropriate for the awesomeness that is Star Fox 64; a different type of game from what people were, and still are, used to seeing by Nintendo, but also one of the best. It is a bit of a reboot of Star Fox for the SNES, however this Nintendo 64 beast is much bigger, badder and better. You play as Fox McCloud, leader of the Star Fox Team, a group of mercenaries who do what they're told as long as they get paid. Joined by his teammates, Falco Lombardi, Slippy Toad and Peppy Hare, Fox must jump on his high-powered, ultra stylish spaceship, the Arwing, to defeat his enemies and complete his objectives.

Star Fox 64 is an on-rails shooter. That is, you control a character that scrolls forward on his own (in this case Fox inside his Arwing), which can be moved around, but always within a restricted space. Not only that, but it's the best kind of on-rails shooter: a space shooter. You fly around in your Arwing and shoot stuff across 6 or 7 levels (the number may vary, more on that later). It's right behind shooting zombies as pure, authentic video game bliss. Fox can shoot lasers, charged shots, fire bombs, do loops, boosts, breaks, and, of course, barrel rolls. You have to make it through action-packed levels, and at the end of the level face a boss, which sometimes retains the same style of gameplay as the level, and others goes into All-Range Mode, in which you can fly around in all directions across a large enclosed area. It's a simple, yet extremely well-made 3D space shooter with tons of originality packed within.

Falco: Man, these guys are tough! I'm lookin' like a rookie over here!

Peppy: It's no use. We have to try something else!

Fox: Ow! ROB, have you found their weak point?

ROB: Enemy analysis unavailable. Information restricted to users.

Slippy: What does that mean?

Fox: We'll break through their perimeters! Close the wings. Adjust your G-Diffuser system. And... blastin' off!

Like I said, while the gameplay is almost perfected, it's the splashes of originality and uniqueness that make Star Fox 64 shine. What's gonna catch your ear as soon as you fire up the game is that it features voice acting. Quite a lot of it. All members of the Star Fox team speak, and they do so often during missions. Not only do they give helpful on-the-fly advice on how to progress, but they'll also converse with each other, and say lines that were remembered by not only fans of the game, but all gamers until today, and most likely the future. The voice acting is alright at best, and "so bad it's great" at worst, but you'll enjoy it. It just makes the game feel more alive. There's nothing more satisfying than shooting Falco and hearing "Hey Einstein, I'm on your side!". You'll also often run into your rivals, the Star Wolf Team, which also provide funny dialogue. In an antagonist kind of way, of course.

The game also features great music (the Main Theme is one of the most memorable tunes in video game history), great graphics in all their polygonal N64 glory, and even the Rumble Pak, which is an accessory for the N64 controller that was bundled with the game, and allowed for rumblings to be felt in coordination with the gameplay. This feature felt so good, it's now standard fare for all controllers to include it. If they don't, people get pissed. (coughsixaxiscough). Yeah, it was good.

Aside from being on his Arwing, both in on-rails and all-range mode, Fox also gets to jump on his Landmaster tank in a few instances, and on a submarine in the level Aquas. Both provide a nice diversion, though feature essentially the same style of gameplay as the Arwing. Still, it's nice to have. I continue to mention Fox, because it's the character you control, but in all missions, your three teammates are flying with you, helping you complete your goal, and they are somewhat substantial to the gameplay. One minute they'll ask you to help them take care of enemies that are chasing them, another they'll give you an item. They also have a life bar, and if it's depleted, they back off the mission and won't be available throughout the entirety of the following mission. And, of course, they provide the amusing dialogue I discussed earlier.

If there's one glaring flaw in Star Fox 64 (and it's only a flaw if you want to look at it that way), is that the game is short. Like I said in the beginning, it's 6 or 7 levels long, and it doesn't save in-between missions, because it's meant to be played in one sitting, Arcade style (the game does save high scores and medals, though). That might turn some people off, because they think they don't get enough "bang for their buck"; however, the game is not only meant to be played in one sitting, it's also meant to be played multiple times. And that's because there are branching paths which take you to entirely new levels. No matter how you play the game, it's impossible to see every level in one or two playthroughs. Like many other things in the game, the way you get to see these new levels is quite unique. It doesn't happen in the menu, but rather inside the missions. There are certain requirements you need to accomplish, like destroying a certain amount of enemies, or taking a turn in a specific area, which make you see not only a different area (sometimes a different boss too) of a level, but also an entirely different level afterwards you wouldn't have seen otherwise. There is a main, simple path you can take if you don't accomplish any of those in-game tasks, but some of those extra levels are definitely worth seeing.

Fox: We're heading out. All aircraft report!

Slippy: You did it! I was worried for a moment.

Peppy: You're becoming more like your father.

Falco: I'm fine. You OK over there, Fox?


Star Fox 64 is a video game. In the most pure, authentic way of the term. It's short, it's straightforward, it's simple. But man, is it so much fun. You may not get as many hours out of it as most games these days (I did, because I love replaying the game), but the gaming bliss will be just the same. I can't give it a perfect score because it's a bit too simple, and maybe not quite daring enough in a few select areas, but I will not hesitate to call it a masterpiece. You need to try it out. If you haven't played it yet, there's a remake coming to 3DS with much better graphics, and of course, 3D. You have no excuse.





Falco: Quite the hard-cases, eh? Yeah, Adventures and Assault were different, but they were still good! No need to kill us over it!

Peppy: Yeah, and to think all we had to do is join the forum to post that review.

Fox: I'm thinking of sticking around. Even if StarWolf is already here. This place looks fun.

Slippy: Yeah!

Fox: But not before getting our fee. Let's head out, team.




(Some details about the site mentioned in this review might not be accurate. You know which ones)